thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
my poor anus
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
