Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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