Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
