how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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