It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
