In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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