I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I wear drunk well.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
