So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
