she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize