tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
