I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
