the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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