A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
