Where is the hickey?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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