Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
