Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
