I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize