They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
