Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
