Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
