anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
