well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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