Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dear god my vagina.
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