i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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