i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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