I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
