it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
