I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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