oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
