Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
