I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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