epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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