Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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