I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
