Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
