she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
