my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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