Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
