Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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