the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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