Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
