Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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