Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
