I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
