apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
