I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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