okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
