Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
