I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
