Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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