i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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