dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
