The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
