So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
