xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
