friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
