Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
