Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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